https://d1y502jg6fpugt.cloudfront.net/37070/archive/files/d22aa762b8c6abe95ae673b2fe2f5581.pdf?Expires=1785369600&Signature=iH-Yd3NOy7vtXZ9BJTPm-B6zfCc6I91AqOoAzfk0PNwxFDX6TKznxXIoQo3fP455531uPca0fEXWPGdftaJwSqdJbrJYO9ucik16wrqS4Cx1hnAGJ8wLx7Mekv0taLcDgSqJppn0zgLibOH37niebDALm6GrhpZW2NTLvz6BsmZxEpDGt8qub6zTKjJjRPWSqM7FSLGGjPNJpWcGD7vehfcKD19r6jrmhSgvmQYU26y12n4ugTPxpxNXbBdzSgu2K4dgsFiwR8KPsbAcdwjFdkqQ3bSUS4XTvn0t-Lnl5qlyo1yrEikCO3N0YkN-fH421XMcFVujHfDly83alNK9LA__&Key-Pair-Id=K6UGZS9ZTDSZM 98f9e26ca3631820fb7364cdffdaea63 PDF Text Text 2025UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS LOWELL SOUTHEAST ASIAN DIGITAL ARCHIVE  PROLEUNG KHMER STUDENT ORAL HISTORIES, 2025    INFORMANT/NARRATOR: KODY PAILIN (K)  INTERVIEWER: CAMERON SAR (C) DATE: X C: So, can you introduce yourself? K: Oh, already? Okay. C: Oh, I mean we don’t have to start now. We can start… K: No, you’re good. So, my name is Kody Pailin. I’m a singer-songwriter from Lowell Massachusetts. I am technically a first generation… C: Okay. Can you tell me about your usual routine? Like, what does a typical day look like for you? K: Typical routine for me looks like… I typically wake up around 7:00 to have breakfast and then aim for the gym before I go to class. I'm studying visual design at the moment. So, gym in the morning and then get ready for class, and I then have to balance both classwork and freelance work, so that’s what it looks like… towards the end of the day I have music production work. I also have photography and also like digital marketing as well. C: So, what are you studying? K: Visual design. C: Do you not go to Berklee anymore? K: No. C: Where do you go now? K: I go to Middlesex now. C: Okay, close to home. What made you switch? �K: Berklee was becoming very expensive. They're not very accommodating when it comes to scholarships and especially in financial aid situation. So now that MCC has the opportunity to be free, I took advantage of that. C: Okay, period. Alright, so… when you work on your music, what does that look like for you? Is it more like something that you want to do, or something that just comes naturally? You know what I mean? Do you just get into a vibe and let it flow? K: Yeah, exactly. So, usually it comes through emotions. For me, it's very difficult to write a song if I'm not experiencing something, it's pretty difficult for me to build a story. So more often than not, I'm working with my friends from Berklee, or I have some family members that do music, too. So it comes pretty naturally when I'm in the moment, but I usually build that regimen of producing different beats or songs throughout the week, so I can try to force myself to build the habit. C: Yeah. So when you make your music, do you feel like you have a certain target audience, or is there a specific audience that you want to reach? Because I know… sorry, I did some stalking, I know you always like “favorite Khmer R&B artist.” Is that… do you just want to feel like… representing our community? Or is it just more like… I don't know. K: Yeah, exactly, you have it on the dot. I definitely want to help represent our community, specifically Lowell, because at the moment I don't hear of a lot of musical artists in Lowell. Because we have such a strong community and for us to look forward to—or not look forward, but for us to look up to different artists, it feels very fulfilling for me to take that on myself. So I definitely wanted to start with like our community, our generation first, and then hopefully break out from there—but I wanted to start closer to home. C: This is some good stuff. I felt a quote in that statement, I felt a quote. Okay, so how long—you born in Lowell, right? K: Yeah. C: Been here the whole time? K: Yes. C: Alright. So what do you enjoy most about living in Lowell? K: I definitely enjoy just the community, specifically the Khmer community. The word “community” is very easy to throw around, but I genuinely feel that connection here. Just because in our culture as well, we're very accepting. Strangers are not…I feel like we know everyone in the city, so it feels very wholesome. I just feel very connected to our �city and it's just very easy going. I know there's different notions about Lowell here and there, but from my upbringing I felt very comfortable and safe. C: That's good. Alright, what would you… how would you describe a challenging experience about living in Lowell? Maybe this will be easier. K: I feel… this might just be from my environment and just what I've experienced, but I feel like the hardest part or the one of the difficulties I've noticed growing up and being from Lowell is that, typically it's hard to “make it out of Lowell.” Like that common quote where you say, “Oh, it's hard to make it out of your city,” just because resources feel pretty scarce. There are different types of walks of life in Lowell as well. It's very easy to end up with very hard influences and stuff like that, too. That became a difficulty growing up, but seeing now how there's so many resources, there's so many things changing around Lowell, it's very bittersweet to see that for the new generation, but more proud than ever now. C: Yeah. How do you… Okay, so you know there's this stigma around Asian people, like your parents want—they want what's best for you, so they kind of push you in directions that you don't really want to go in. For example, you know, doctors, engineers and stuff like that. So how would you describe your experience pursuing a more musical career for the arts and stuff? How does that dynamic work for you? K: So at first, my family was a little bit worried and scared when I opened up that I wanted to do music and just something creative, because it's harder to land something secure and stable if you're going the creative route because there's no guarantee. So specifically for music, there's no guarantee, you just have to keep promoting, promoting, promoting. And it's not like a product or anything, it's just yourself. So over time, I feel I'm very privileged to have supportive family. Where they do the most, be like, “Hey, like, oh my God, that's my son, oh God, that's my nephew!” So I feel very privileged in that. But over time, or earlier in that time, they're like, “Oh, are you sure? Feel like you should do this. Maybe you should do a trade, because then it's easier to land something.” Over time, they became very proud and very encouraging. C: That's good to hear. Happy for you. Okay, so is there any place in Lowell that holds special meaning for you? K: My immediate answer is Le Petit, the Khmer restaurant. Right by Pailin, yeah. That's like my go-to spot with my family growing up. There's a lot of people who would recommend these bigger, more well-known places. And Le Petit is very well-known but feel like a lot of people haven't been talking about it lately. It's very, it's very homey, very like…I know people call it mom and pop type of shop, but for me it's in my comfort zone. I try to bring my friends there as much as I can, and it's like… For me, that's my center of Lowell. That's like my heart of Lowell right there. �C: Okay, okay. Are they... Because I know it's like in like… somewhere in Cambodia town. Are they Khmer owned? K: Yeah, Khmer owned. C: Okay! K: I think they've been here since the early 80s. It's just, at the moment, it's just like a yeayyeay and her kids that run the restaurant. C: That's so freaking cute. Okay, yeah, very homey indeed. Okay, how does your culture— sorry if these questions are repeating. I'm just—some of them was from my head and then some of them are from this paper. K: You’re good. C: Okay, how does your culture or background influence your perspective on the world? K: My culture influences my view on the world… I think last year I was able to go to Sabaidee Fest in California, and going there made me realize how, like… I just saw these Asian communities in general were very, very, very welcoming. We have like such a rich culture and we're so open to take people in and just care for one another, and in a lot of other communities in the US, it's very hard for me to see that. So, for me, everyone feels like family and I treat them as so. Obviously give respect where it's due, but seeing how strong in alliance we are, that was that's a core value I hold to wherever I go or whoever I see. So, I guess our culture is how… there's a very strong influence on how I see other things. C: I definitely agree with just the feeling of togetherness because even if, you know, they're like Thai, Laos, I don't know—It's just something's very comforting about having someone that looks like you or they look related. Just, I feel very close to them automatically. And I think it is, it's definitely like… not to say that it's harder for other communities, but it's definitely easier because we share so many things in common. I think that's quite nice. Just my comment. Okay, can you tell me about a time when you felt especially proud of being Khmer? K: Last year I performed at Pailin for Khmer New Year, and it was such a shock to me because I do R&B and pop music all in English, so I was very nervous to take the stage there, because it's such a mix of generations that go over to celebrate at Pailin. But the crowd was just so engaged, and they were screaming and singing along to some of the songs. Like babies to all their yeas and thas, everyone's ming was there too, that was so fun. It's like being welcomed into that with a whole different type of music that a lot of the older folk don't really listen to. I felt really proud. It felt like family cheering on, know? So that made me feel really proud last year. �C: That's good. Would you feel like you had a sense of the community coming together in that moment? K: Yeah, for sure. C: Period. All right. What was a significant turning point in your life and how did it affect you? K: I think a significant turning point in my life was going to Berklee. Like my very first semester was such a huge culture shock to me. It was like—yeah I'm from Massachusetts, but Boston is a whole different world. So having to build myself up from the ground where there's a lot of people from not outside the city but from outside Massachusetts and the whole country, it felt… hard to push myself through that big crowd of people at school. So I had to, I felt a sense of having to prove myself and validate myself to like, “Oh, this is my style. This is my music. This is my culture where I'm from.” But then there's so many other people trying to do that same thing. So that was, that was something. Yeah. C: Yeah. I was going to ask, when you went to school at Berklee, because I know there's— It's a pretty popular school, there's a lot of music kids. Did you ever, when you were there, did you ever feel like you hit a roadblock, like you weren't good enough? Or like you ever heard other students and be like, “Wow, they're really good.” You know? K: Yeah, it was… there's a lot of comparison that was knocking me down when I was there. Because I don't have a huge musical background where my parent put me into a music program so young or… I didn't really have the resources to learn things like music theory and stuff because my teacher back in high school threw away the opportunity for me. And a lot of people are coming from more privileged spaces and they have more resources. So seeing that compared to me, struggling from Lowell—not struggling, but having a tough time adjusting and having a whole different background. Whether it was my education or just money and stuff, that was tearing me down like crazy. C: Yeah. When you first started Berklee, did you ever have like… Where you were in class and you realized you don't know anything? Because you didn't have much to go off of? K: Exactly. My very, very first music theory class, I was just freaking out. I was like, “I don't understand anything.” It's like trying to learn a new language all over again. C: I hate music theory. I still don't get it. K: I don't get it. �C: I don't get it. it. Don't understand. I mean, honestly, as long as it sounds good, fine by me, I don't just know how it happens. Off topic, I took basic music theory two semesters ago and it was like, it was fine in the beginning because like I understood the basic stuff. I could read notes, I could read chords. I knew what the chords were and then it started getting complicated. Like, like. No, a major fifth, augmented fifth. What the fuck? K: Exactly. C: Anyways. Okay. Back to home. What changes have you seen in the community over the years? K: Is this question very sensitive? Like should I go... Should I go more like... I don't know how to describe it. More neutral? C: You can go wherever you want. Okay. She's real chill. don't know if… she asked me to turn in the recording. I don't know if she's going to listen to it. But you're fine. K: I've seen a lot of good and bad changes. I don't want to dwell on it too much but... As of lately... I feel there's a very back and forth in progress that our community is making, especially with our generation and the younger generations that are starting to come up too. We've seen a lot of growth in, honestly, to be transparent, the way some kids are raised and the way that they're involving themselves with. So there's a lot of different influences that are... that we try to leave behind that are coming back up. It's a lot of that. But honestly, just seeing things like Lowell High School being renovated, which I thought would never happen. C: Real fucking nice, huh? K: Yeah, dude, really nice. Better than my Berklee campus. It looks so much nicer. There's so many resources for education now too, which is insane. So I want to focus on that for sure. Those city improvements just in itself is really, really nice to see. C: Do you think… Have you been affected—Okay, your parents were born in Cambodia, right? K: Yeah, born in Thailand. C: Oh, Thailand. Okay, so they don't remember much then, right? So they were babies? K: Yeah, they were born in Thailand, then they went to California first. C: Okay, okay. So I was going to ask you about generational trauma and how you handle that, but they probably don't have much, right? �K: Not much, I would say in terms, like… are you thinking of more like PTSD and memories from war? Like that type of trauma, or just like upbringing? C: Sort of like… everything, because, you know, my parents… everyone deals with it differently and some coped with it better than others, but it kind of still shows like in someone's upbringing. I've definitely noticed that my parents don't really raise us how my cousins have, because my parents are the oldest, you know, they've experienced all that. I was just wondering if that had any effect on your upbringing. But if not, whatever. K: I would say I definitely saw it in my grandparents, where obviously they are looking out for you, but in a different way for our history, where they're extra cautious, just like “hey be careful of this when you go out, blah blah blah.” And there's so much emphasis on how my people are like, “Oh, did you eat yet? Have you eaten yet?” It's coming from a place of love, but it's also coming from a place of when it used to be scarce, too. So that's something that's really built into my upbringing. For generational trauma coming from my parents like, my experience with my… the way I was parented, it was more like… my parents had me and my siblings pretty young, so they were navigating through their own adult life, too. Because since they came to America pretty young, they had to take on a parental role of their own siblings. So obviously… I guess in this moment, there's a lot of times where me and my siblings have to find forgiveness for our parents for places where they couldn't really fill what we needed. So I guess that's a little bit of generational trauma that I think about. C: Nothing too bad, nothing too much that is affected. K: Nothing too bad, which I'm very privileged for. C: That's good, that's good. All right, so what do you hope for future generations in our community? I'm going add on to this question—And what do you hope for you as an artist to bring to our community? K: I want to say… I would want current and future generations to want more and to ask for more. Like, just seek more and more and more, because there's a lot of times where—if we compare ourselves to our other classmates, let's talk about high school where there's certain groups where they have access to more and you just feel very belittled, or you feel like your upbringing, your experiences is less important, and that comes with role models as well, so it goes hand in hand with the artist question. Where I want our people to thrive and succeed, especially in different fields where we weren't able to. So, I want us to be selfish—not in a not in a negative way, I guess, but just… I hope they thrive and strive for what they want what they need, even a little extra so… You're going to hear a lot from artists where it's like, “I didn't see myself in media growing up. I didn't see someone that looked like me.” So I still want to pass that torch down. Not even just for a certain demographic, but also like, I emphasize that I want to be like a messenger for some people where, if they can't find the word to describe what they're feeling, I have a song �for that. Like this song, this song helped me or this song is like what I'm feeling or what I'm going through. I want to be able to be that person for them. C: That's good. That's good. Yeah, I also want to see like a bit more like freedom, I guess in our community, because, like I said before, there's a lot of, you know, pushing of a certain career choice. You know, for me personally, I would have loved music. Now here I am, biotech. Yeah, this was good. This was good. That was my last question. Any other comments? K: I don’t think so. I don't have a lot of comments. Those were really good questions. C: Thank you. Okay. Well, oh, the picture. Do you know where I can print the picture out? K: Does it have to be a big canvas? C: I don't know. Maybe just… Because we have, like, there was a, because other people are interviewing different people and we have a photographer and people are supposed to go and like take their picture and then she was going to go like… � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Prolong Khmer: A 50-Year Journey of Resilience and Remembrance Exhibit [2025] Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2025 Description An account of the resource Proleung Khmer: A 50-Year Journey of Resilience and Remembrance was a commemoration event that took place in Lowell from March 2025 to June 2025. The event included displays at the Loading Dock Gallery and at City Hall. Additionally, students conducted oral history interviews under the guidance of Christine Su, a visiting faculty member at the University of Massachusetts Lowell. Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource In Copyright: This collection is protected by copyright and/or related rights. You are free to use items in this collection in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. For other uses you need to obtain permission from the rights-holder(s). Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Lowell (Mass.) Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Interviews completed as part of Professor Christine Su's Asian American Studies class in Spring 2025 at the University of Massachusetts Lowell. Subject The topic of the resource Cambodian Americans Community Development Restaurant owners Gay community Monks Buddhist centers Buddhist doctrines Refugees Asian American educators Refugee camps Group identity Generational trauma Generational conflict Post-traumatic stress disorder Khmer language Set designers Theater Psychology Arts, Cambodian Cultural property Small business Children of immigrants College students Musicians Rhythm and blues music Translators Translating services Law offices Laotian Americans Race discrimination Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource PDF mp3 m4a Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource Audio recording Transcript Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Kody Pailin oral history transcript, 2025 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2025 Description An account of the resource Transcript of interview between Kody Pailin and Cameron Sar about his life in Lowell; discusses his daily routine, life in college, his career as a Cambodian R&B musician, and perspective on Khmer culture and Lowell's Cambodian community. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Sar, Cameron Pailin, Kody Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Interviews completed as part of Professor Christine Su's Asian American Studies Class in Spring 2025 at the University of Massachusetts Lowell. Subject The topic of the resource Cambodian Americans Children of immigrants College students Musicians Rhythm and blues music Cultural property Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource In Copyright - Educational Use Permitted: This Item is protected by copyright and/or related rights. You are free to use this Item in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. In addition, no permission is required from the rights-holder(s) for educational uses. For other uses, you need to obtain permission from the rights-holder(s). Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource PDF Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource Transcript Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Lowell (Mass.)